shabra bang bang~

JUNIORS? already?! what the heck. boy does time fly. just when i thought i was new, and getting accustomed to this place called Berkeley, it’s hitting me that i’m a junior. now i’m giving people younger than me advice on what “easy” classes to take and not take, or where they should go to explore berkeley and what not.

a bunch of us are busy, doing our own things and i guess that’s a sign of… growing up? it’s sad to realize but at the same time it’s amazing. i’m genuinely happy for those who are getting jobs, interviews, internships, relationships, or even realizing that it’s time to take school a litto bit more seriously. amidst all these happenings, i’ve had some alone time to just think and chill, and i think this time has been very beneficial to me. i’ve realized so many things in my life, and i’m really thankful for everything that’s been happening, for everything i’ve been figuring out, and for everything people have been telling me.

“everything happens for a reason.” it really does. don’t try to figure out everything by yourself, because i guarantee not everything will go your way. and if you try to do everything by yourself, and at the end of the road you realized it wasn’t what you expected you’ll just be disappointed and hate life. instead, pray. easier said than done; yes i know, but i guess it doesn’t hurt to try.

also.. this is random but also try.. people watching. HAH. weird? i lovee people watching, and you realize and learn so much. there are so many different kinds of people in this world and at times we forget to realize that there’s more to this world than just you and i. everyone’s style of clothing, taste in food, hairstyle, conversations, interest, and everything else are soo different, but it’s so cool. God is amazing. how did he come up with all these ideas?! simply amazing.

okay.. now i’m just rambling about everything.

before the year started, i was REALLY stoked for this year. for the first week, i was still STOKED. up until like last week, i was disappointed, sad, frustrated, and not looking forward to this year at all. now, i’m making the most out of life, excited, and definitely looking forward to see what this year has in store for me. mood swing much?! yeah i promise it’ll stop haha. my apologies, esp to those who i’ve been complaining or venting to. i’m thankful for having all of you guys in my life :]

LIFES GOOD, YA HEAR?!

FOOTBALL AND BBQ THIS WEEKEND w/ MY CLASS! and SENIOR CLASS!

and HOMECOMING GAME NEXT WEEKEND! omg SO excited. be ready, sc. and im soo excited for everyone to come up again! :]

andddd get your BASKETBALL tickets!

okay, donezo. have a great friday <3

A.D.D. much?

i think i have ADD or something. i can’t go through writing a page without going through my share of fb/blog/gmail/ichat/yahoo/some random youtube video/and jumping on my bed for a 5 min “nap”.

i have a 12-15 page paper due in like 4 hours, and did i mention that i’m.. not done yet?!

in my head i planned on finishing this at a certain time, but in actuality i’m like 5 hours behind schedule.

apparently my mom had plans for me today, to go run some important errands, but i forgot to mention to her earlier this week that i had a 15 page paper due, so i couldn’t go. she kind of looked at me like i was crazy cause i was out all weekend, knowing this crap was due. haha sorry ma.

and i have plans for today/night but i feel like once i’m done with this, i’ll be ready to knock out. but my friends will probably kill me. what to doOo?

okay back to writing. peace.

hello, goodbye summer ‘09.

damn, who would’ve known finishing this ONE final would’ve made me so happy.

i guess i can’t complain cause i did only take one final, when people were stressin left and right trying to figure out how to study for two finals, that happened to be on the same day. FYL.

but as i was walking to work after my final, life seemed amazing. i was saying hi to everyone i ran into at work, and telling my coworker i was. i’m in suchh a good mood despite the fact that my bed time has been around 5:30/6am these past couple of days, and i have a 6 hour drive down to socal ahead of me. but whatevs, i can’t complain. ALL this week all i could talk and complain about was how much i wanted to go home, and how the only thing on my mind was HOME. well guess what, i’m socal bound in a couple hours baby :]

i can’t believe this summer is just beginning and at the same time over.

how was your summer? how was mine you ask? it was a rather interesting one.

seems like much didn’t happen this summer, but it did. it was filled with countless nights of “studying” that ended up being nights filled with funny/serious/ridiculous conversations. filled with many nights of “things you shouldn’t be doing.” filled with, should i say regrets? or of things that i “learned/am learning from my mistakes.” filled with heart breaks, make ups, and wonderful surprises. filled with getting to know you better, and man i’ve grown more distant from you. filled with many “MAN I WISH YOU GIRLS WERE HERE!” and filled with a lot of random things. yeah, i wasn’t out at the beach 24/7, or at the mall shopping my heart out, but whatevs, this summer up at berkeley was a good one.

noww, i have 10 days in socal to spend the rest of my summer. yah i’m gonna live it up. jealous? should be. haha jk.

well WOOHOOO everyone who finished today. we are DONEZO. (except i have a 15 pg paper due monday -_-; i’ll worry bout that after i get home). haha.

HOLLLLA.

eye for an eye.

this morning, i opened up my Bible for the first time in a while, to see what passage i could read and reflect on. and right when i opened it up, the first thing i saw was KCPC’s weekly bulletin, and in block letters i apparently wrote “LOVE for enemies.” after seeing that, i realized this was the sermon PEug gave on “The Sermon on the Mount: Radical Christian Love.”

it’s crazy how i opened my Bible straight to this, because it’s something i needed to be reminded of. love for enemies? God loved us unconditionally and he created us to love one another, but why is it so hard?  i realized more and more it’s so hard to genuinely love and care for people, but PEug said “the weakness of love is the most powerful aspect of life.” i’m no better than my neighbor or enemy, so i guess i have no right to hate or what not. i’ve been so caught up in my own thoughts and judgements, i let it get in the way of what i should really be doing.

Matthew 5:38-48:

38.“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’ 39. But i say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil….

43. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” 44. But i say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…

love your neighbor. and love your enemies.

“falala~”

so last thursday, i was on my way to pick hayeon up from piedmont so i could take her to the airport, and i almost got owned on dwight and piedmont. the light turned green and as i was about to make my left turn, this white girl in a  huge dodge ram, was driving pretty fast perpendicular to me, and it didn’t seem like she wanted to stop. in that instance, i didn’t know what to do but honk. she stopped abruptly, fairly close to me, and looked at me shocked and sorry. i was so freakin scared and my heart was pounding, at what seemed like at the speed of light. i was scared, but when i finally made my left turn and approached hayeon, she seemed scared. she was standing with her luggage on the ground, eyes wide opened, and hand over her mouth. she saw all this happen, and from her view she thought i was about to get owned by this truck. she got in my car asking if i was okay, we both panicked for a good 5 minutes and went about our day. dang that was close.

and todayy  i was walking rather quickly to work, because i was 10 minutes late (story of my life), and as i was walking across college/bancroft to get from strada to campus, i almost got owned. i was on my phone while crossing, and one car stopped for me and i guess the other car didn’t see me. this lady was SO close to hitting me, but instead the tires screeched and came to a stop. in that instance, i didn’t know what to do because it was so unexpected. i looked at her, she looked at me with eyes wide opened, clearly cause she was scared she almost hit a person. i looked straight ahead and this hippie couple was looking at me and at the lady who almost hit me, prolly cause they saw and heard everything. oh man.

but on a BRIGHTER note, today’s been a pretty nice day. the weather is nice cause the sun’s out but there’s a little breeze so it isn’t too hot. and at work, they gave me couple letters to deliver which was kind of nice. the first one, i had to go down to this building right by the BART station, and after the nice bus ride down there i was able to pick up coffee and pastry from starbucks and come back to my office content. however, the blueberry coffee cake i got was a fail. starbucks usually never fails me, but today the pastry was completely soggy. sigh, oh wellls. then i had to make another trip down to barrows, but it was close by so no worries.

i was so happy because as i was in the bus or walkin around, i had my ipod playing my favorite playlist, and listening to the same korean songs on repeat, just appreciating the people here and everything else about this place. and need i mention i’m kind of obsessed with 2ne1 puhaha. i probably looked like a fool cause i was super cheesin with my phone and ipod, while singing along to whatever i was listening to, and lookin around aimlessly. whatever, i can’t complain cause life’s good.

have an amazing friday and weekend :]

lemme break it down for ya.

“Girls will be girls.” Things that make a girl happy seem to be so different than those that make a boy happy. As I was talking to some guys up here, they were telling me about their weekend, and it seemed so opposite compared to mine. Some went to the gym for 3/4/5 hours a day, were sitting and talking, maybe smoking a cigar here and there, and went fishing from dawn to dusk, having caught no fish but still having the time of their lives. ALL this while me and my girlfriends were simply doing activities which consisted of, well, eating. I think if I told you what and how much food we consumed this weekend, you might be grossed out but lemme tell you that OB chicken, jack in the box, and all you can eat gogi is not a good combo in a span of less then 24 hrs. We had a girls night sleep over at mich & jess’ and i guess that’s what happens when a bunch of gals meet up. Eat talk talk talk eat eat talk talk eat. I feel like all this weekend, guys were telling us, “eating again?!” But ay, don’t hate. Girls have their fun while boys have theirs.

I know I know, it seems like all I talk about is food. But I just found it interesting how our weekends seemed SO different when they asked me about mine.

Well, good day everyone. Have a warm and amazing monday :]

and the weather so breezy, man why can’t life always be this easy.

weather’s nice today; not too hot, not too cold. i’d say, a perfect weather for a picnic? matter of fact, picnic tonight :]

and guess what life ain’t as easy as people may sugar coat it, but it’s still good.

today, i got to work and my stomach started telling me it was hungray but i had nothing to fill it up with. julia comes along  to visit me in my cubicle, and i tell her my problem. being the amazing person she already is, she comes back a minute later with a nice cold yogurt and two pieces of dark chocolate. i refused it because i kinda felt bad, but she gave me the death look and threatened me saying she would just drop it! so of course i took it, and devoured it. it diddd stop my stomach from making weird noises though. thanks hOolz. it’d be so cool if everytime my stomach made weird noises, someone could just place food right in front of me. man, why can’t life always be this easy?

.. cause life wouldn’t be as interesting and a mystery if it wass that easy. we would forget to be thankful for every little thing that He’s provided for us.

simply, love. life.<3

they love [me] so. [parents] love you so.

my last day in socal, before heading back up to berkeley, my mama told me that pops was out of town for business and wouldn’t be back before i left. when i heard that i was really really sad. but my mom told me that he kissed me goodnight and goodbye before he left but i was ktfo. giving, but never expecting anything in return. i guess thats father’s love.  man, i really wish i woke up and said byee. then later that day i called my dad, and hearing his voice made me miss him even moree. i know i know, it’s not like i’m never gonna see him again but this time around it was different.

that day i was hanging out with two of my best friends and my mom called me telling me to meet her at costco (for no reason) and then to come home soon because she didn’t want to be home a lone. i told her i’d think about it and she kept calling back because she realllly didn’t want to be by herself. so i went home and even though we didn’t spend all night talking, i guess the idea of me being home with her was comforting. i guess i’m happy something like that could make my mama so happy.

and that night my mom didn’t want to sleep alone so i slept with her. the whole time she was holding tight to my hand as if i was gonna run away somewhere. i was getting hot and couldn’t fall asleep, but everytime i tried to let go, she held on even tighter. i guess thats mother’s love. i felt bad so i was in bed until i could somehow fall asleep.

parents are so crazy. they love you for who you are. and they miss you every second you’re away from them. and they want to do everything for you, no matter the circumstance. i need to not take my parents for granted.

random thought, i kno. goodnight :]

mememe.

people talk and complain, as if they’re the only ones who are hurting and going through tough times. people? actually, i speak for myself. when i have to deal with anything, i think about myself and my problems. it’s all about “mememe”. i complain endlessly to my friends and family; thanks you guys for listenin to all my bickering. i forget that other people are suffering or dealing with issues. today as i was just walkin or standin around, and some random things caught my attention [not that i'm a creeper or anything].

-this guy behind me at peets was on the phone and said “do you need me to be there in india with you?” and 5 minutes later as he was waiting for his coffee, he took a seat with a big sigh and face in his hands. *damn, i wonder whats goin on.

-i was walking down telegraph, and in the 3 seconds it took to walk past this girl on the phone, i heard “i’m sorry, i really am”. *uh oh.

-i was walking up dwight on my way to unit 2, while carrying a blanket that looks warm. i probably looked ridiculous carrying this blanket, cause it caught the attention of a homeless girl sitting next to bongo burger. we met eyes when i was crossing telegraph. technically she met eyes with my blanket and i met eyes… with her? she just had her big black jacket. *what if i give her this blanket? will she think i’m crazy? nah, i’m too scared.

yea, the world’s filled with people who are dealing with their own problems, you’re not the only one hurtin. but at the same time, it’s filled with plenty of happppy people too. weee~ i dont know, just some random thoughts. lets love and appreciate life despite whatever you may be dealin with, cause ultimately, the world does not revolve around you.

EPIK HIGH TONIGHT. OH YAYUHH.

coffee afta coffee.

so i sit here at my desk, wasting the time of my life? sitting here reading blog after blog, and i come back to this so-called diary and start babblin. i sat here tryna remember my password and user name cause its been forever and then some. but yes! after a million attempts (and yes i tend to over exaggerate) i remembered.  i call this it an inspiration, or perhaps luck; but it’s probably just my desire to escape.

-yea, i don’t wanna write a stupid german paper that means nothing to me. whatchugonsay? i know: “ivy go write! you can do it!” and yes indeed i will keep tellin myself that. cause i mean, whats the point of complainin right? and yes i know, i complain too much. i complain about how i always have to stay up all night to write my papers. i complain about the dirt on my shoes. i complain about my height. i complain about this ‘n that. when in the end, it does me no justice. yea i know, i should just shut up ‘n deal with it quietly. i will try my best.

you can call me an idiot for wasting my time writing this. you can call me whatevs, cause you don’t see me complainin.

hope everyones studyin is going well :]

throw on some clothes, cause it’s gettin chilly up in hereee.